Tuesday, November 26, 2002

New World Order New Deal

A fundamentalist in need is an extremist in deed. Fundraising and recruiting within Muslim markets and mosques has escalated into a booming business worldwide. To effectively compete against the al Qaeda network’s job training program, peaceful alternatives must offer gainful employment to our world’s economically downtrodden masses, defusing unrest that breeds terrorism, and converting prospective martyrs into vested members of civilized society. Whereas military force fuels free publicity for al Qaeda headhunters, whose business is bombing along at a catastrophic pace on a global scale, the sensible solution is a Muslim jobs program rivaling FDR’s masterpiece. Promoting a generous vision of a New World Order New Deal targets depressed Muslim job markets.

A perfect reclamation project lays at hand in the Qattara Depression, a region lying below sea level located in northwestern Egypt on the Sahara Desert fringe. Plans call for building a freshwater canal, from the Mediterranean Sea to this nomad’s land, employing Muslim laborers to create an artificial lake; while helping promote cooperation, peaceful coexistence, economic stability, agribusiness, tourism, and prime beachfront real estate. The culmination of FDR’s dam plan is water skiing, which a New World Order New Deal is dedicated to delivering into international breeding grounds of despair that are thirsting for fun, leisure, recreational opportunities, and reasons for living.

Think of the public relations bonanza in combining, into one colossal project, the legacies of both President Roosevelts, the Panama Canal and the New Deal. Let’s fight the war on terror with an LBJ inspired war on third world poverty, with a pride of purpose and sense of commitment reminiscent of JFK’s Moon missions and Peace Corps. In time, the life enriching waters bathing the Sahara Desert will stem the flow of bloodshed by empowering Muslim respect for life, and Jimmy Carter’s mantra of human rights, while decreasing demands for defense spending. The New World Order New Deal inspires benevolent community values through shared accomplishments, while invigorating a Garden of Eden Renaissance in the Middle East.

Envision a labor-intensive effort digging the canal, putting multitudes of Muslims to work. What takes one man one day with a bulldozer takes ten men weeks with shovels; but takes thousands of men, women, and children months with spoons. The Pharaohs really knew how to keep people busy: throw a work party. This ancient principle of Egyptian political science, encapsulated in the New World Order New Deal, echoes core liberal values and belief in the constructive benefits of public service and civic works.

Sunshine being a free and abundant commodity in desert environs, American manufactures can compete for government contracts developing and manufacturing solar powered desalination and pumping equipment for this project, which will create hi-tech and manufacturing jobs here at home. Government investment can lead the way, jumpstarting innovative solar powered products to serve growing domestic and global markets, in the same way JFK through NASA fostered the economic birth and growth of integrated circuits, consumer electronics, and personal computers. A thriving solar energy industry will help wean our nation off foreign oil and anti-environmental lust for plundering our ecologically sensitive wildernesses, resurrecting Jimmy Carter’s "moral equivalent of war" against our oil addiction, and improving foreign trade balance of payments.

As everybody knows, politicians are spoon-fed their opinions by pollsters, so a contingency plan has been contrived to circumvent special interests. Let ordinary citizens decide. What do the people endorse? Ditch diggers or grave diggers? What were conservative think tanks thinking? Preemptive strategists, authors of War with Massive Deficits, fuel anti-American resentment and hatred. But give Muslims jobs with hope and terrorist outsourcing markets will evaporate.

Peace loving citizens can accomplish greatness by supporting this worthy endeavor, while investing minimal time and expense. Many, small, willing, personal sacrifices, insignificant in themselves, can accumulate into overwhelming trends, influence foreign policy, and change the course of history. Show that you care. As a conversation piece, wear a spoon over your heart to communicate your desire for a New World Order New Deal.

I appeal to constituents everywhere to endorse a New World Order New Deal by mailing one spoon to each of their elected officials as a gesture of solidarity. Sending spoons to politicians with authority will add weight to constructive concerns, while helping supply the enormous demand for tools needed to implement this ambitious enterprise. In respectable numbers this grassroots initiative will help realign public policy with the ideals of peace with prosperity, something elected officials can't seem to fathom let alone master. Deliver your spoons to Congress. Sponsor a Muslim, and stop terrorism at its source of supply. Share a spoon. Spare a life. Shape a world.