Jerusalem National Park

The fate of Jerusalem fuels hatred and conflict in the Middle East. The United Nations Security Council Resolution 242 of 22 November 1967 calls for the "withdrawal of Israel armed forces from territories occupied in the recent conflict", meaning the Six Day War, Israeli land grab; and refers to the Golan Heights, East Jerusalem, the West Bank, the Gaza Strip, and the Sinai Peninsula. With the Sinai returned to Egypt in a peace treaty and the Palestinians gaining self rule in the West Bank and Gaza, resolving the stalemate over Jerusalem appears next on the land for peace agenda.

As a model of inspiration consider Vatican City; an autonomous religious state within the borders of a democratic state. Religious authority administers governance of Vatican City, but expatriate Swiss forces provide security. The Swiss example establishes an ancient precedence legitimizing a ploy to deploy American Rangers to protect the scenic beauty of Jerusalem National Park, as it’ll become known after our National Park Service assumes control, while inching UN Resolution 242 yet another step closer to a peaceful conclusion. The Smokey the Bear hat and park service uniform will become welcome international symbols of regulation enforcement, when they become recognized internationally as they are domestically. (Our greatest virtue is exporting American values to the rest of the world.)

Founding Jerusalem National Park outside our national borders reinforces separation of church and state. Since reverse logic rules the Middle East, we can suspend all political rights within the park boundaries while allowing religious activities and institutions to flourish. Through omission the First Amendment exempts Executive Order from compliance. It states, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof..." Therefore, the President can exploit this constitutional loophole through Executive Order, as yet another Faith Based Initiative. Being a strict constitutionalist, even Supreme Court Justice Scalia would find no reason to object.

Although the American public has previously expressed no interest in permanent national parks in foreign countries, that’s the beauty of this plan. It’ll require congressional help passing legislation permitting the investment of Social Security funds in land for peace shares and resurrecting the Bush plan for Social Security Personal Accounts, The Promised Land REIT being the inaugural investment device. Jerusalem National Park elevates Faith Based Initiatives to a whole new level, in a renewed effort to garner support for Social Security reform by catering to religious right special interests.

Not since Walt Disney purchased Florida swampland has such an ideal investment opportunity presented itself. Property values in regions of conflict are undervalued in today’s global real estate market, while investor confidence in the stock market has plummeted to modern lows. It’s time we capitalized on these fears, and exploited areas of conflict for economic profit on the upswing. We must diversify our foreign policy to opportunistically rebuild the economic strength of American retirement portfolios, while providing balanced investment advice in areas of War and Peace.

Despite serious obstacles to peace, Jerusalem remains susceptible to The Almighty dollar and our economic superpower status. If antagonists won’t unconditionally surrender all claims to Jerusalem, the whole city can be bought outright in a piecemeal fashion. This is the supreme purpose of being for The Promised Land REIT. Then investors, as absentee landlords, will hold sway over all people living within Jerusalem National Park boundaries.

In addition to protecting religious rights, the package deal includes a natural compliment of park services: tourism, promotional programs, recreational opportunities, &etc. In fact concessions, souvenir sales, and guided interpretive tour fees should help defray government expenses in this venture.

American, private sector, theme park expertise will supervise the next phase of this endeavor. We don’t propose changing the theme of Jerusalem National Park. That would be sacrilege. But we do propose that occupants undergo sensitivity training to become vested interest, goodwill ambassadors within the theme park - learning diplomacy, courtesy, and performing arts to entertain visitors. In time, Jerusalem National Park, under the auspices of Faith Based Initiatives, will evolve into a religious melting pot and a world renowned Mecca for pilgrims and tourists alike.